Supreme Candidate

Supreme Candidate

Jordan Kennedy

In a world of partisanship and bias in the media, only one man stands for truth, justice, and the American way. That man is Vermin Supreme. Now you may be wondering, “Who is this Vermin Supreme character?” well, he’s the only third party candidate that matters in the 2020 presidential election.

Vermin Supreme is a political prankster with a boot on his head, that has run in every Presidential election since 1988. Supreme has run under every major party and some minor ones. In 1988, 1992, 1996, and 2000, Supreme ran Independent. Whereas in 2004 and 2012 he ran as a Democrat, 2008 he ran as a Republican, and in 2016 and even this very election he has run as a libertarian. 

Supreme also has some very interesting political views, such as the “Right to pony” policy, wherein every American will receive a free pony. He has also been a proponent for time travel research, mandatory teeth brushing, and zombie apocalypse awareness. He has stated that he leans more towards anarchism with mutual aid, which is where the government has very little power, and citizens sustain themselves and others by working together. He also described his “joke humor” by saying it is a response to the lies told to American citizens by far-right and left media.

Supreme has also run in various other elections all over the U.S.A. Running for Governor of Kansas in 2018, then attorney general in the same year due to the limited requirements for running. He also participated in political activities such as the Great Peace March for Nuclear Disarmament in 1986, and the Occupy Boston protests in 2011. There was also an incident in the 2012 election, wherein a meeting about lesser-known candidates, Supreme glitter bombed opposing candidate Randall Terry stating “Jesus told me to turn Randall Terry gay!”

Supreme is also an avid filmmaker, with his filmography including, Vote Jesus: The Chronicles of Ken Stevenson, learnin’ with Vermin, Who Is Vermin Supreme? An Outsider Odyssey, and the web series Quiet Desperation. Vote Jesus was a documentary about American Fundamentalism. Learning’ with Vermin was created as a fictitious documentary to teach American’s political subjects, such as voting methods. Who is Vermin Supreme? Is a documentary about Supreme funded on Kickstarter. However, despite these political films, quiet desperation was a web series co-created by American Musician Rob Potylo. 

Unfortunately, despite these attractive characteristics, Vermin Supreme has never won in any of the elections he participated. Winning only 41 votes in 2008, and 268 in 2016. So this year, let’s make sure to spread awareness of this amazing candidate. A man who is the only one willing to spread the word of the coming zombie apocalypse, the only man innovative enough to begin time travel research, and the only one brave enough to say the fact that yeah, we should probably brush our teeth more.